Heavy Sleeper
by Radicalfire
Summary: Exploring the real life consequences of Lezaford's 'innocent' cottage, this piece poses one question alone: Why on Ivalice would you want to sleep for two hundred days? RxR!


**Radical Notes:** A little quirky piece I wrote after playing FFTA2 for too long in Hong Kong. Hope you enjoy, and remember to set that alarm clock next time! Please note that this is an somewhat alternate, as the timeline doesn't really matter to me as I write this. Also, Cid disappeared.

* * *

_Day 1_

The door opened slowly, a mountain breeze flowing in and disturbing the dusty air. Luso's voice chimed in. "Hello?"

There was no reply. Luso groaned, walking in and shutting the door behind him, the surprisingly unrusted hinges silently gliding back shut. In his hand was a bill notice – another akademic request, this time about the creation of clans and clan trials. Someone was cramming for a test about that subject, and once again, it was Luso's job to gather notes from the one and only Lezaford: ancient, powerful…

…and never in his home.

Luso walked up the ancient stairs, feeling the boards creak under his feet – an unsettling feeling, to say the least - hoping that Lezaford was perhaps sleeping, or reading some magickal tome and just hadn't heard him. Sadly, he was not; that old bastard was nowhere to be seen, which meant that Luso was effectively screwed with this quest.

Luso trudged into the bedroom, heaving a sigh as he sat on the bed. Luso stifled a yawn. He had trekked the morning away along the paths of Aldanna.

He had seen Lezaford's bed several times before: a simple bed, perfectly made with a thin layer of dust that revealed it's disuse. _I swear, Lezaford has another cottage. Somewhere. Just not here._ It was perfect for a nap and perhaps there was the faintest of chances that Lezaford would return when he awoke.

Luso wondered for a moment if he should throw a blanket over himself as he laid himself on the bed. Deciding against it, he shook his head and smiled.

I mean, it was just a nap, right?

* * *

_Day 2_

_Dear journal,_

_We accepted another knowledge gathering bill again. Seriously, why do those akademic students even bother? This is why I don't go to the Akademy, even if I could: classes and homework and tests that need you to actually _spend_ gil to get a high mark on. It's so immoral. Of course, I'm not complaining, since the gold is funnelling towards me (I mean, Clan Gully), and as long as that happens, I'll be happy about anything._

_Anyway, Luso took the bullet for us and went down to Lezaford's cottage. It's always a pain going down there. That old geezer isn't even there half the time. And the other half, he's not there either._

_Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. If we're not there, who's going to stop Luso's stupidity getting him killed? I swear, that idiot can find trouble in berry-picking bills._

_That was not a joke. I picked the last chocobo feather from my outfit a week later. It wasn't fun._

_We camped out in the surprisingly quiet Zedlei Forest. The Mist seems to be thinner in the low-lying areas these days. We waited the night for Luso, but he seemed to be late. Even later than usual for him. Maybe he had been attacked or ambushed? Wolf attacks are getting more common now, and even though Luso probably thinks he could handle a full-scaled battle, he's more likely to be wolf food without us there._

_So I decided to go to the cottage to look for him. Guess what? There was no wolf attack. No ambush by another clan (those freaks are so jealous of our lifetime hold on half this continent) or avalanche that swallowed him whole. Those would have been _preferable. _He had reached Lezaford's cottage, with Lezaford once again absent, and guess what._

_He. Was. Asleep!_

_I swear, I'm not kidding! He is sleeping like lazy sloth-bastard he naturally is as I write this. He's in a tangle of sheet and there is just the faint hint of drool on his lips._

_Why that little bastard. Making us worry about him when he was resting that big, dumb head of his. I ought to punch him awake. And then punch him back to sleep. And then continue that cycle until I'm bored._

_I've taken his gil as punishment, of course, and am waiting impatiently for him to wake up._

_Because when he does, he's going right back to sleep. Permanently._

_-Adelle_

* * *

_Day 10_

"Lady Adelle?" A voice called out. Viera ears poked in through the open doorway.

Quintessa, training White Mage and founding member of the Clan Gully, cautiously walked into Lezaford's cottage. Finding no one there, she walked up to the second level and checked the rooms. What she found, in the bedroom, was quite strange.

Adelle was snoozing softly in a wooden chair, her head resting in her arms on the side of the bed. Luso was also asleep, even as harsh sunlight sprayed mercilessly over his face.

"Adelle? Luso?"

Adelle jolted awake at Quintessa's voice. "Wha-Oh, hi Quintessa."

Quintessa raised an eyebrow, but said nothing of the matter. Instead, she looked at Luso. "What has been taking so long? It has been nine days since you left."

"Nine days?" Adelle asked incredulously.

"Yes?," Quintessa replied, and then looking over at Luso again, "Why is Luso asleep?"

Adelle looked over at Luso. "He's been asleep all this time."

"What?" Quintessa asked. Her sharp eyes darted to Luso: yes, there was a faint trace of dust on him. _But ten days?_ "Magick?"

Adelle shrugged. "I don't know, it's probable. Normal humes don't sleep ten days, that's for sure."

Quintessa walked up to inspect Luso's sleeping form. Despite the lack of food and water for ten days, he seemed fine. She tapped him softly on the forehead with her staff. Adelle shook her head.

"Tried that with a _book_. Doesn't wake him up. This guy is the ultimate heavy sleeper." Adelle said, heaving a sigh.

"Well, he doesn't seem to be awakening any time soon. What of Lezaford?"

"He hasn't shown, unless he was here a few minutes before you," Adelle said, shrugging.

Quintessa fell silent as he contemplated this problem. Luso was one of their adept fighters and somewhat of a leader of the clan, especially with Cid being incapacitated by his wounds. But the only solution was far from preferable: waiting for Lezaford's return for the cure, or at the very least, answers. Quintessa doubted even her patience could withstand Lezaford's comings and goings.

Quintessa shook her head, sighing deeply. "We can't just sit here and wait. He seems to be fine on his own. Whatever magickal ward this is, we can only hope it's benevolent. "

"What about Lezaford?" Adelle asked, a bit of anxiety playing on her features. Quintessa smiled. _There is more between them than she's willing to let on._

"If he comes, then he will remove the wards, and it will be fine." Quintessa bit her lip, "Although… some ancient wards, like the ones Lezaford would deal, with can't be aborted, only waited out. So…" She trailed off.

Adelle sighed. "Fine, fine, we'll let this lazy sloth rest."

Quintessa nodded, walking out. Adelle lagged a fair bit behind, but caught up to Quintessa as they descended the stairs. Bouncing at her hip was her bag of herbs and gils.

"Where next?"

"We have found an interesting bill in Camoa. A Mark which hides in the greenlands."

Immediately: "Is there good gil?"

Quintessa smiled. "Yes, yes, but first we need to defeat it."

They got to the door, and both looked up at the second floor.

"You better wake up when we're back."

"Hope you return to the living soon, Luso."

* * *

_Day 43_

_Dear journal,_

_Used hammers on Luso. Did not work, although did help me relieve some stress: an important part of your daily life essential to staying sane when your idiot clanmate is still sleep god knows how many days (it's 43)._

_Finished another two bills in the same day, which is what I call efficient gil-making. They were easy jobs; one involved a fight with some clan mates causing a ruckus in Moorabella, and the other was basically a delivery from Camoa to Moorabella._

_I will admit, we've been doing fine on the bill front even without Luso. It's not like he's missing much; boring jobs in already known territories. Not any new stuff. The gil will still be there when he comes back (or not. There are some interesting, new weapons and accessories I've been meaning to try out.)_

_On the clan side of the story, we've been trying to keep it small, as always. Cid likes it because it promoted 'strengthened relationships', Luso never minded that kind of stuff, and I always like a bigger split of the gil. Jinza opted to train as a gunman today (they call the job fusilier, but that just sounds dumb). Quintessa said she was going to become a red magick user now, since she says she has mastered the skills of white magick. I'm fine with it, as long as she keeps those healing skills. Being knocked out of battle is never pretty, and my sticky fingers can't do their work if I've been beaten down by a group of blobs._

_I think I will leave it at that today. Not a lot has happened since Luso decided to go to dream land, and as much as I hate to say it, he makes my life fun. But never tell him I said that._

_Think I'll try knives tomorrow. There are some shiny new ones at the store and it's time to take it up a notch. Or several._

_-Adelle_

_

* * *

_

Day 76

"Oh, dear me." Lezaford said, scrutinizing Luso. He tapped him on the forehead once with his oak staff and sighed deeply. His eyebrows furrowed, giving him the expression of a man deep in thought.

"Dear you is right, Lezaford." Adelle retorted, sitting back and watching Lezaford intently. "What's wrong with Luso?"

"Well," Lezaford explained, "it seems that Luso has fallen prey to my sleeping wards."

"Sleeping wards?"

"Yes, on my bed." He patted the head of the bed and smiled, as if he had returned to an old friend. Adelle simply raised her eyebrow.

"And…" Adelle trailed off, wondering what words would frame her question perfectly, but finding nothing spectacular, just decided to make it simple, "why do you have a sleeping ward on your bed?"

"I am not an easy sleeper, and I find the convenience of a sleeping ward to my advantage." Lezaford looked around, and then waved his hand, "You can tell that I do not adjourn here often."

_Yeah, I can see that_, Adelle thought as she looked around. She had been on a mark bill when she found Lezaford, in the Rupie Mountains of all places, studying briefly on the local fauna and flora. The old man's strength and resilience was astounding.

"So, when will he wake up?"

Lezaford hesitated, looking over Luso and then the bed. It glowed faintly in reaction to Lezaford's magick aura. "That is rather… hard to say."

"What? How is it hard?" Adelle asked, somewhat incredulous – although, at the same time, thinking, _this is Lezaford we're talking about…_

"Well, the sleeping ward is… unique, to say the least." Lezaford said, evidently struggling to put the complexity of his magick into words. "It knows exactly how much sleep I require, be it a day or a month or, at the worst circumstances, a year."

"A year?!" Adelle exclaimed, frantically looking from Lezaford to Luso and back.

"Hush hush," Lezaford hurriedly said, "I have not finished. This ward tailors to _my_ specific needs. I'm not sure how long it will keep Luso asleep."

Adelle was silent for a moment. Then, raising a finger accusingly, she said, "So, you can't do anything?"

"Sadly, no."

Adelle threw her hands into the air. "Ugh! So finding you was useless?!"

Adelle fumed silently for a few minutes. Lezaford waited patiently.

Then, "Can't you at least guess?"

"No; the sleeping ward's effects on another hume would take at least a year to pin down."

"But he _will_ wake up?" Adelle asked.

"Oh, yes, most certainly. Within a decade, at the very least."

Adelle sighed, but accepted it as partial good news. _A decade, huh? He sure as hell is going to be surprised when he wakes._

"Oh, yes, one more thing." Adelle said, realizing something.

"Yes?"

"Does he… age, in the bed?" Adelle asked, straying onto the tentative subject.

"Oh, no, not at our rate. He'll age, but even if he woke in a decade, he'll be only a minute older than he was when he went into sleep."

_That's something to think about_, _at least._

* * *

_Day 100_

_Dear journal,_

_We're entering the hundredth day of Luso's slumber. We had a party today, although we can't really call it a party, because we weren't celebrating anything good. We just sombrely gather into Lezaford's bedroom and noted it had been a hundred days since he had gone to sleep._

_In a hundred days, so much has happened. Our quest total is now double what it was, and even though I hate to say it, I'm proud of our clan. And twice the quests means, of course, twice the gil. And that's always a good thing._

_Quintessa has finished off her red mage training and has decided to train as a summoner next. My reaction was "What? Another job?"She says it'll be her last, and she's going to stay as a red mage part summoner after she had mastered it. And I must admit, it wasn't a bad choice. Our jobs are now so much easier with those… spirit, espers, whatever you call them, helping us. _

_Aurlock and Jinza, our monk and gunman respet-respecta-respectin-whatever. You know that word. Aurlock is the monk and Jinza is the gunman. Gosh, now I've forgotten what about them I was going to write._

_Ugh, whatever. Moving on._

_The airships to Fluorgis have been fixed, finally. With our help, of course; then again, Clan Gully seems to have to help with everything important going on. We caught the air pirates that were sabotaging the ships. Our clan is going to head there in a week. There's an Auction House in Fluorgis. Guess what we're going to do._

_Oh, respectively, that's the word! Damn it, now I feel stupid._

_-Adelle_

* * *

_Day 136_

Adelle bound up the steps without a second to lose, rushing up to the second floor like a maddened animal. Of course, there was a reason she was so excited about 'chatting' with Luso today.

"Luso?" She said as she skid to a halt at the door. Lezaford was sitting in his mahogany chair; lately, Lezaford had been spending more time in his cottage because of Luso, studying his tomes in an attempt to learn how long Luso would sleep. So far, nothing.

Lezaford smiled, lifting himself out of his chair and leaving the room, nodding his greetings to Adelle. "I'll leave you two alone."

Adelle waited for Lezaford to leave, and then sat herself down in the same mahogany chair. "So Luso, guess what we did today."

Silence. Well, duh.

"Oh, come on, don't be so quiet."

Silence again. This conversation was _riveting_.

"Fine fine." She giggled as she stopped taunting him, but then fired straight into the news. "Today, we won the auction in Fluorgis! And we did it without your help!"

Luso was the one who had gotten them claim over all the territories this side of the ocean. He had a knack for reading his opponents; he wasn't just a dumb swordhand, it seemed. The rest of the clan could only watch in awe as he matched and then beat his opponents every time.

And now, Adelle had done the same thing.

"It was more luck than anything else, but I still did it! Fluorgis and neighbours, welcome to lifelong ownership!" Adelle's excitement was boundless. This was perhaps the only time she was excited about something other than gil and using gil (usually not her own).

She didn't know why, but being in Clan Gully was changing her. Making her open herself up. Not just thinking all about herself, but about the clan as well. As much as she'd hate to admit it, she was, for once, living life happily.

It was strange, talking to Luso as he slept. Like he was a sleeper patient. Adelle shivered slightly at the thought: sleeper patients, usually from hard head traumas in battle or magicked into a coma by the more insidious creatures, often did not wake up.

Luso would. Hopefully.

"And when you do, we're going to kick your butt." Adelle said tenderly. She got up, ready to go back to Moorabella.

Afterwards, she would look back and wonder, if only the slightest, at her own behaviour.

* * *

_Day 174_

_Dear journal,_

_Luso's still not awake. Bet you didn't see that coming. Well, it's been 174 or so days, so it's pretty old news now. I don't really know why I still write it at the beginning of every journal entry, but then again, it'd be kind of bad not to. And I'd feel guilty afterwards._

_Got the new set of knives today. You know, the ones that are imbued with the thunder and fire magick. It's always fun to strike at monsters a cliff above you, when they think you can't get them. Then they look up, wonder why all those thunder clouds are forming, and bam! Fried monster, _

_Which doesn't sound appealing. I'll take the chicken any day._

_Anyway, we've officially hit the five hundred mark in the number of quests we've finished. Clan Gully is now a famous clan – and it's always great to be the leader (even temporary) of something famous. Just wish we'd change the name; I mean, seriously, Clan Gully? Why not just go all the way and name yourself Clan Stupid? Or Clan Idiot? Or maybe, just maybe, Clan Adelle? Pretty please?_

_Also, and this is the big news, we finished a quest in record time. It was a request to slay some drakes and wyrms who had been attacking a nearby village when the Mist began to settle down there. We dispatched the entire herd of dragons in under ten minutes._

_This is when I realize how hilarious it will be when Luso wakes up. Lezaford tells me it's like suspended animation, whatever that is; basically, he will wake the exact same person as he was when he slept, maybe a few minutes older by his own reckoning. Which means, while he's still throw that dinky little Defender around, we'll be throwing magic spells and doublecasting scions like there's no tomorrow._

_I'm feeling happy at that thought. Think I'll leave it at that._

_-Adelle_

* * *

_Day 200_

The sun rose from between mountain ranges as the morning overtook Ivalice. A special day for a small clan with a stupid name but large renown. Day two hundred of Luso's magicked sleep.

Clan Gully entered Lezaford's cottage; Lezaford was gone, having told them that he was going to 'studying in Fluorgis'. Evidently, he had given up on discovering how long Luso would sleep; to the best of anyone's knowledge, Luso would sleep for a while longer. The five person group shuffled up the steps, walking to the closed door that was Lezaford's bedroom.

Adelle opened it, silent but not solemn. Luso's sleep wasn't a sad thing anymore, especially two hundred days in. Now, it was more of a wait: for him to wake up, for things to get back to normal, and yeah, to show him what he'd missed.

He'd be pissed. Adelle hid a smile.

In the room, the scene was the same; Luso, lying in a strange position of the bed, the bed, with its faint glow of magickal aura, as well as the mahogany seat so favoured by the clanmates when they came to visit.

"Well," Adelle said, planting herself down on the mahogany seat, "it's day two hundred."

"And not a thing has changed." Quintessa noted, looking at Luso's face: unchanged since the beginning, with that hat still on his head as if it was glued on.

"Ay, what a shame. Luso was a good clanmate." Owyn, Nu Mou sage, said.

"_Is_, kupo. Not was." Jinza corrected, bouncing in. In his hand was his trusty Riot Gun, mark VII; many fireshots and iceshots had been fired at Luso's face, but they never worked.

"Wait, did he just move?" Aurlock asked. All eyes suddenly darted to Luso.

"What are you talking about, kupo?" Jinza asked.

"No, wait, I saw it! There!" Adelle said pointing, her heart pounding in her ears.

There was silence as they watched. Then, as if by some miracle, Luso suppressed a yawn, and woke up.

There was no scream of excitement, no shouting, just shocked expressions and a disoriented Luso who began to get up. Slowly, as if the sleep itself had slowed Luso down, muscles flexed and sinews moved again. Rubbing his eyes, Luso got up, letting the blankets fall of his body.

"Oh my god, that nap was awesome." Luso said stretching, and then noticed his clan mates staring at him. "Uhh, hi? Wait, were you just there while I was sleeping?"

Nothing.

And then:

"LUSO!" Adelle screeched, throwing herself towards him and enveloping him in a bear hug. He choked as she crushed his lungs.

"A-adelle, choking here."

Adelle let go, breathing heavily.

"What was that?" Luso asked, staring at each of his clan member's faces. Then, raising an eyebrow, "Wait… you guys look, different. Older. Or is that just me?"

"No, not just you." Owyn replied, hiding a smile.

"Ok? Seriously, what's going on? Quintessa, I thought you were a white mage!" Luso asked, desperate for answers. Adelle smiled; they _were_ a lot different than 200 days ago.

"Ok, ok, Luso, first things first, that bed you slept on was enchanted." Adelle began, hoping to take it slow and not freak him out too much. Even though he deserved it.

"Enchanted?" Luso whipped his head around, staring at the bed.

"Yes. It makes Lezaford sleep longer. Much longer." Adelle said.

Luso was catching on. "How long did I sleep?"

There was silence, as none of the clan mates wanted to answer.

"Come on, guys, tell me."

Adelle sighed. "Two hundred days, almost to the minute."

It took a second for it to sink in. Then, Luso exploded. "TWO HUNDRED DAYS?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

Luso looked at each clan mate in turn as they began to nod, one by one. Luso sunk onto the bed, almost broken. "That is… huge."

"Yeah. Things have happened." Adelle smiled.

"What do you mean?" Luso asked, suspicious.

"Let me show you," Adelle said, and then began rummaging in her bag. "Quintessa, do you have the clan transcripts?"

Quintessa shook her head. "I don't think so. Doesn't Owyn keep them?"

"Ahh, yes, I do. They're in my bag." Owyn dipped his hand into his leather case and removed an incredibly large scroll out. He handed it to Adelle, who threw it onto Luso's lap.

"Have a read."

What was in that scroll was a record of every quest they had ever done. Luso might have remembered it as a somewhat-long scroll, but after that got filled to the brim with quest details, about 23 days into Luso's 'nap', they had painstakingly transferred it to the scroll Luso was holding now. Thrice as long, it too was beginning to fill. God forbid having to transfer _that_ to an even bigger scroll.

Luso began reading, skipping the quests he had been in, and his eyes grew steadily wider as the feats written down began to get more and more ridiculous. At one point, he put it down and looked up at Adelle, a disbelieving expression on his face.

"Yes?" Adelle said, smiling wickedly.

"It says here," Luso began, gulping, "That you went on a hundred wolf infestation hunt with only three people? That's got to be an error."

Adelle looked at the transcripts, remembering that enjoyable experience. She shook her head. "No, that really happened."

Luso, open mouthed, looked down again and read a few more lines. "Okay, this can't be true: a _wyrm hunt_ with only _two_ people?!"

Adelle read where Luso was pointing, and stifled a laugh. "Oh no, _that's_ a mistake."

Luso breathed easier, as the clan's accomplishments began to drift back to a normal standard.

That is, until: "It was just Jinza on the wyrm hunt."

Now, Luso's expression was truly something hilarious. He was completely speechless.

Adelle just shrugged. "Thing have happened."

Luso nodded. If there was only one thing he learned today, it was this: _Don't sleep in Lezaford's bed._

* * *

**Radical Notes:** And there you have it, the reasons why sleeping two hundred days is just crazy. But it's so convenient, with the auction house abusing I always do. RxR!


End file.
